They’re coming to take the chairs at 3:00pm today.

You haven’t heard? Last week, the Herald Sun ran a poll asking, “should teachers be forced to stand?” I guess it was a slow news day, but nonetheless, I’m forever humbled by the expertise of the general public when it comes to best practice in teaching. Of course, I also appreciate the wholesome interest of the media in the everyday happenings of Aussie teachers. 

To ensure the general public can be absolutely certain that teachers are working hard, a snap new policy is being trialled called ‘Standing Up for Good Teaching’ which requires the removal of teacher desks and chairs to ensure teachers circulate the classroom.

I’m typing this in a classroom sitting on my rickety office chair. It’s one of the older ones, but I’ll still miss it. The plastic backing sometimes hangs off them (depending on the room you’re in) and some of the cushion fabric has been torn, revealing the inner foam, but they do the job.  And sometimes you get a nice one (depending on the room you’re in).

Many teachers are even lucky enough to have a laminate desk to perch their computers on to take the roll. Soon, (when these get taken), we’re told we will have more classroom space for group work and collaboration when the teacher desks are replaced by portable walking laptop harnesses. 

Thanks to the Herald Sun poll, I know this policy is for our own good. Sure, my colleague Larissa has had knee trouble and sometimes needs to sit in a chair made for adults, and Joan has just had foot surgery, but in the staffroom we all wondered if we might be given some coupons or discounts for physiotherapy. “Fat chance,” a more cynical colleague told us.

We all hoped something could be sorted for Larissa and Joan because there are no replacements and none of us want to hear the phrase ‘collapsed classes’ anytime soon. If only there was a quick fix for the teacher shortage included in the Standing Up for Good Teaching policy.

Trying to cheer the mood, someone in the staffroom pointed out that we already do get some perks in the job. She’s right. I mean sometimes we get pizza from Dominos (one slice per teacher) when we stay till 8pm. Some teachers get to have their classes in a kitchen which allows easy access to water. We also get some paper and pens and of course toilets.  Maybe we can sit on them for a rest in the day, Beth wondered. But she was quickly warned by the group not to dilly dally in there as we’d all be waiting desperately to use them.

I know teachers get blamed for a lot, such as indoctrination, Naplan scores that “aren’t good enough”, not getting every single classroom resource we use validated by relevant educational authorities, not using the correct desk layout in classrooms, being too slow in our delivery (apparently 2-minute chunks of learning are the new thing), not keeping up with AI, not doing enough to tackle misogyny but at the same time damaging children with “woke” ideology, using “learning fads,” struggling to show we are “as smart as ninth graders”, not having high enough ATAR scores, and even being “showered with luxury presents” (side note: does a box of Cadburry’s Celebrations count as ‘luxury’?). 

So, all things considered, the question of whether teachers should be afforded a chair to sit on and a desk to work at could be considered a more, dare I say it, ‘back to basics’ issue, and for that I am grateful.

If there was any money in public education, we could increase teacher accountability even more by installing cameras into classrooms to ensure we are circulating.

I tried to think of other professions and how much they stand or sit but was disappointed that I couldn’t find any fun polls to vote on and voice my expert opinion. Not sure why. But the Herald Sun tells me that cooks, hospitality staff and abattoir workers spend most of their time standing up, so this helped me keep things in perspective. I mean they’re kind of the same job, right?

At morning tea, our oldest staff member Sarah came across some data about the physical demands of teaching. She said something about burnout, musculoskeletal issues, and high stress. But I didn’t get a chance to hear her out as I was too busy heating up my food to eat on playground duty on the oval (standing of course).

As I stood and ate, I wondered to myself, if engagement is the focus of this standing initiative, then what could be more engaging than a tired, underpaid teacher who hasn’t sat down in 5 hours?

Brilliant plan.

At lunch, we stood around discussing the initiative more (they’d already taken the chairs in the staffroom by then). Steven said he’d seen American schools where the teachers jump up on the desks to deliver content. Apparently, according to another American educator he’d read about, ‘champion’ teachers ditch their chairs to create a sense of “urgency”. Beth piped up again and told us we won’t need gym memberships anymore under the new plan so it could save us some money. I think I saw some people glare at her, but maybe they were just contemplating the money they would save.  

Honestly, I can’t believe Dr. Nicole Mockler described the initiative as the “infantilisation of the profession.” I don’t see it that way. Case in point: when Tania said she’d bring her own camping chair, she was told she could, so long as it was registered and approved by a supervisor and relevant authorities. Seems empowering to me.

Maintenance is here now to collect my chair, so I’d better wrap up. Before I sign off, take my poll: should teachers be required to work in their lunch breaks? Thumbs up for yes, shocked-face-emoji for no.